Barney Miller

Fish dons a Santa Claus suit to catch a robber on Christmas Eve; Yemana romances a lovely mugging victim.

The precinct experiences a black out; Barney must deal with a woman psychiatrist and a man with a split personality.

Wojo brings in a sick perpetrator who collapses on the floor. The entire precinct is placed under quarantine, including a prostitute who gets friendly with Fish, Marty, Mr Driscoll, and Inspector Luger.

Barney discovers that Harris has been moonlighting; Dietrich arrests a priest for fencing stolen goods; a numbers racketeer uses a mentally challenged boy as a runner.

Cops and robbers provide inspiration for a criminal who mimics the felonies of TV police shows; and a drunk attempts armed robbery without a gun.

A woman is robbed by her computer date; and the detectives must decide whether to honor an unauthorized policeman's strike.

Fish is nowhere to be found on his last day before he retires; Barney must deal with an out of control vigilante group.

The squad investigates a hijacked bus that crashes in the neighborhood.

A couple wants Barney's assistance with their cult-influenced daughter. Nick's bookie is arrested. Harris gets a short story published in a slick gentleman's magazine. Bernice interviews for a job over Fish's objections.

A suicidal couple is delighted when flames threaten to engulf the squad room after an arsonist sets fire to the station house.

Barney investigates a sex clinic that more closely resembles a brothel. Harris investigates a rash of crimes apparently committed by a juvenile.

Wojo quits the force rather than return to uniformed patrol one week per month; A ``think tank`` report critical of detectives.

Wojo testifies against a landlord who is determined to demolish several apartment buildings; An old man refuses to leave his condemned building.

A group of Hasidic Jews riot to protest the department's ineffectiveness; Urban survivalists are found living in steam tunnels beneath the city.

An agitated woman with a homemade bomb threatens to blow up the squad room; Sergeant Fish drops in for a visit.

An expensive antique doll is kidnapped for ransom; a naive optician buys a bogus ticket to ride the NASA space shuttle; and Luger puts Barney in his will.

Harris assumes command of the precinct after Barney is jailed for his contempt citation; Barney is left in a cell with a neurotic murder suspect.

Barney is charged with contempt of court when he refuses to name an informant; and a man complains being ugly is why he was refused service at a restaurant.

The owner of a sports store rigs a lethal trap to catch a burglar; Arnold Ripner sues Harris for libel; Wojo asks Barney's daughter for a date.

A librarian employs artillery to enforce order in her reading room; and a Gypsy is arrested for continually harassing the owner of a novelty store.

Barney picks up a deaf woman that is a hooker; Wojo swims the cold Hudson River in pursuit of a burglar.

A linguist vandalizes a billboard to protest improper grammar in advertising; and a psychic foils a purse snatcher--before the crime is committed.

The precinct is the setting for the premiere of Harris' porn film; a blind man is mugged; and a overzealous charity collector stages a holdup.

A veteran radio journalist roughs up an insipid TV news anchor; and Harris produces an undercover porno movie.

A burglar celebrates his fiftieth year in crime; Someone is leaking squad room infractions to Internal Affairs.

Dietrich is plagued by guilt after he's forced to use his gun to stop a robbery; and a playwright assaults an incompetent actor.

Dorsey plays big brother to a young prostitute; Harris solicits stock tips from a well-heeled call girl; and Dietrich explores celibacy.

A woman complains when her apartment building has become nudist; and a confused vet blames his condition on exposure to Agent Orange in Vietnam.

The squad's new member insinuates that the detectives are corrupt; and a refugee complains that their methods are hazardous to his health.

Wojo and Dietrich respond to a complaint lodged against a delegate from the 1976 Democratic convention.

The detectives attempt to find the hapless husband before the hit man does; and Harris makes a pass at the station's new crime photographer.

A man admits that he killed his barber after a bad haircut; and a woman decides to cancel the murder contract she put out on her husband; The 12th precinct becomes a homicide squad.

A thick fog envelopes New York causing a burglar to break into a Christian Science Reading Room by mistake.

Wojo submits to hypnosis to aid his memory; An inventor at an electronics company breaks into his company's safe.

A bookstore owner is infuriated when a strip club opens near his place of business; Gunmen storm the precinct.

Harris gets the task of booking his colleague Dietrich, whose arrest prompts a visit from Internal Affairs; A nuclear engineer is brought in for dousing the participants with atomic water.

A lottery winner gives away the prize money by tossing it out a window; Dietrich is arrested for his off-duty participation at an anti-nuclear rally; Barney discovers he can't afford his condo.

Harris refuses to adhere to a deparment rule that requires all detectives to dress in full uniform one day a year.

Luger is despondent with his new assignment in the Twelfth; a man robs a liquor store with a duelist's pistol; and a citizen steals a TV from the police vault.

A divorced father reclaims custody of his son by kidnapping him; The precinct is visited by a man who claims to be from the twenty-first century.

Harris disappears while undercover as a vagrant looking for the missing bums; Luger elects to be demoted rather than to retire.

Vagrant Ray returns to report his fellow bums' disappearances; a woman wishes to have a child with a surrogate and is focusing in on Dietrich and Wojo.

A census taker breaks into an apartment to count the uncooperative residents; and a burglar is kept locked in a basement cell by a vigilante tenants' group.

Wojo books a man accused of disturbing the peace by making noises with his hands; A dentist is accused of molesting female patients.

Barney and Dietrich investigate a robbery case in which deadly DNA cultures were inadvertently stolen.

A judge assaults an attorney with his gavel; and a confused daytime-drama devotee reports dastardly deeds from TV soap operas.

A partial lobotomy turns a master thief into a mindless zombie; An Amish man is unable to use the telephone to call for help after he's been mugged.

Barney hesitates signing a release for Harris' new book.; Wojo's new parrot dies; and a suicide hot-line operator decides to end it all.

A bookstore owner is infuriated when a strip club opens near his place of business; A man threatens to burst into flames; Two topless dancers arrested.

The detectives are shocked to discover that a chauffeur involved in a minor traffic accident is actually a slave indentured to a Burmese diplomat.

A monk suspects foul play when one of his novitiates vanishes during a weekend in New York; and it's Dietrich's turn to cross-dress for mugging detail.

Barney posts the annual vacation schedule; and two brothers feud when one refuses to donate a kidney to his ailing sibling.

A charming mugger poses as a photographer to lure his victims; Wojo brings in a man who claims to be Jesus Christ.

Scanlon starts a witch-hunt to root out an anonymous gay officer in the Twelfth Precinct; an angry citizen takes an ax to a department store Muzak machine.

The cast offers an affectionate tribute to the late Jack Soo by reviewing Sergeant Nick Yemena's more memorable moments at the Twelfth Precinct.

Late-night visitors to the precinct include an irate tourist and an insomniac who's convinced that he'll be possessed by a succubus once he dozes off.

A black doctor claims to be cursed by vodoo; Dietrich and Levitt haul in a brokerage firm employee suspected of embezzlement.

A man whose name was changed after he testified against the mob is falsely arrested for attempted robbery.

A psychiatrist refuses to divulge the name of a known arsonist in his care; and the Twelfth Precinct holds an open house that attracts only vagrants.

The detectives try to track down a counterfeiter who produces bogus one-dollar bills to supplement his army pension.

Barney's graceful transition to middle age suffers as his squad expresses concern for his stamina and mental state.

A man threatens to leave his wife to become a soldier of fortune; and Wojo moves in with his new girlfriend, a reformed prostitute.

Convinced he's the victim of a government conspiracy, an unemployed spy holds the detectives at gunpoint.

Internal Affairs puts the detectives through a lie-detecting test after newspaper reports of a bribery and kickback racket.

An elderly Indian arrested for disorderly conduct and trespassing expresses his wish to die with dignity in Central Park.

Barney discusses holiday plans with his estranged wife; A claustrophobic robber and two feuding toy dealers are hauled in during the Christmas season.

A former '60s radical wanted by the FBI is dismayed that his arrest for shoplifting doesn't create some publicity.

Police mistake Harris for burglar and shoot him; A stockbroker leaves Wall Street to become a beggar.

A disgruntled TV fan assaults a network programmer in a coffee shop; and Levitt is the detectives' chief suspect in the squad room vandalism.

Sent out to investigate a loan-shark operation, Harris returns with a prime suspect: a 14-year-old boy carrying $7,000.

A gun-toting parolee wants to return to prison claiming that the regimentation of penal life hasn't prepared him for the outside world.

A lonely woman accuses Dietrich of making indecent advances; Yemena arrests a rabbi for running a gambling operation in his synagogue.

Wojo uncovers an illegal adoption ring and Harris arrests a research professor on an obscenity charge.

Frightened Wojo faces rabies injections after trying to break up a dog fighting ring; Barney has the blues about his impending separation.

The officers reopen a 28-year-old missing persons case; The host of a children's science show goes berserk; Harris takes a turn at cross-dressing mugging detail.

Sympathizing with those oppressed by capitalism, kidnappers of a department store owner demand that his merchandise be given away to the public.

While the rest of the city is caught up in inaugural festivities, the detectives are dealing with a suicide threat from a political fanatic.

A man liquidates all of his assets into gold, much to his wife's dismay. Wojo claims he saw a UFO over Staten Island.

Evaluation reports cause worry for the detectives while the elderly owners of a porno store lodge a vandalism charge.

A ventriloquist and his obscene dummy keep the detectives company when a wild-eyed gunman forces them to spend time in the precinct's cell.

Barney has been shot; The dangers of police work upset Barney's wife; An old woman objects to nude painting on display in an art gallery.

The detectives' new female colleague has a jealous husband; and Wojo brings his bedroom problems to work.

Barney is faced with the choice of ousting poor tenants from a dilapidated hotel or facing departmental charges.

Barney bargains for soon-to-be-evicted tenants of a condemned hotel. Luger tries to decide how to spend his vacation time.

A woman lodges a rape charge against her husband; A master of disguise perpetuates a crime spree; To Yemana's delight, the city legalizes off-track betting.

An aging bounty hunter and a sugar addict are the precinct's latest guests; and Yemena is rushed to the hospital after an appendicitis attack.

Demonic possession, an illegal alien and an accountant with a pocketful of marijuana make up a day's work at the precinct.

An angry citizen creates a disturbance when he learns that his deposit at a sperm bank has been accidentally ruined.

The FBI arrives to investigate a college student who built a working nuclear bomb for his physics class project.

Harris searches Manhattan for an apartment to fit his intended lifestyle; Wojo is buried alive while pursuing a thief.

Fork-stabbing highlights Thanksgiving. Three mental patients have Thanksgiving dinner at a laundromat.

Wojo wrecks a taxi that he borrows to chase a robbery suspect; and Lieutenant Scanlon enlists the help of a drug pusher to test the detectives' honesty.

The officers are unable to remove a corpse from the station house during a blizzard; and an eccentric swears that the snow is the start of a new ice age.

Cops and robbers provide inspiration for a criminal who mimics the felonies of TV police shows; and a drunk attempts armed robbery without a gun.

After a suspect steals his best friend's corpse and refuses to tell anyone where he's hidden it, Fish returns to help Barney find the body.

A vigilante environmentalist who's been sabotaging a chemical plant faces the corporation's high-powered lawyer.

Barney and the detectives discover that someone has planted electronic bugs throughout the squad room.

Sgt. Phil Fish finally shows up for work after disappearing, but refuses to acknowledge his mandatory retirement.

Fish is nowhere to be found on his last day before he retires; Barney must deal with an out of control vigilante group.

A man-hungry spinster and a loud prisoner present a challenge to Barney when his crew decides to join a strike.

A woman is robbed by her computer date; and the detectives must decide whether to honor an unauthorized policeman's strike.

The squad tracks a mad bomber who's threatened to blow up an Army recruiting office; and Fish has to dress as a woman when it's his turn for mugging detail.

Wojo grants political asylum to a defecting Russian musician; Marty is charged with a parole violation for possessing a half-ounce of marijuana.

Barney discovers that Harris has been moonlighting; Dietrich arrests a priest for fencing stolen goods; a numbers racketeer uses a mentally challenged boy as a runner.

Barney investigates a sex clinic that more closely resembles a brothel. Harris investigates a rash of crimes apparently committed by a juvenile.

A couple wants Barney's assistance with their cult-influenced daughter. Nick's bookie is arrested. Harris gets a short story published in a slick gentleman's magazine. Bernice interviews for a job over Fish's objections.

The financially ailing city plans to save money by closing the precinct; store owners begin paying protection money.

A suicidal couple is delighted when flames threaten to engulf the squad room after an arsonist sets fire to the station house.

Wojo quits the force rather than return to uniformed patrol one week per month; A ``think tank`` report critical of detectives.

Wojo testifies against a landlord who is determined to demolish several apartment buildings; An old man refuses to leave his condemned building.

The city experiences a first-stage smog alert. A potential suicide victim is saved by a graffiti artist.

At the Twelfth when the detectives sample Wojo's girlfriend's brownies before anyone realizes that her recipe included an ample portion of hashish.

Fish dons a Santa Claus suit to catch a robber on Christmas Eve; Yemana romances a lovely mugging victim.

The precinct experiences a black out; Barney must deal with a woman psychiatrist and a man with a split personality.

Wojo arrests a man for refusing to interfere when he witnessed a mugging in progress; Barney doesn't think a crime has been committed.

The detectives must arrest a 70-year-old recluse who hasn't left his apartment since World War II, after he refuses to do jury duty.

The usual loonies arrive during the full moon, including a man who swears he's turning into a werewolf.

A woman, being held from voting by her husband, throws a toilet seat into the street to get attention; a shoplifter gets escorted to vote by Wojo.

The squad investigates a hijacked bus that crashes in the neighborhood.

As the quarantine continues, Yemana and Harris uncover some insights into their feelings. Small pox or Chicken pox.

Wojo brings in a sick perpetrator who collapses on the floor. The entire precinct is placed under quarantine, including a prostitute who gets friendly with Fish, Marty, Mr Driscoll, and Inspector Luger.

Wojo is alarmed to learn that New York City doesn't have an up-to-date emergency evacuation procedure.

The Mole leads Harris and Wojo on a chase through the city sewer system. Fish considers an operation.

Fish is attracted to a mugger's mother. A man who turned in $3,500 he found a few weeks ago and wants to claim.

A police psychiatrist examines the squad; The psychiatrist recommends that Wojo have his gun taken away.

A police psychiatrist examines the squad; The psychiatrist recommends that Wojo have his gun taken away.

The massage parlors lining Second Avenue rub the merchants the wrong way; The detectives arrest an mugger who's in her eighties.

The massage parlors lining Second Avenue rub the merchants the wrong way; The detectives arrest an mugger who's in her eighties.

A battle of the sexes erupts when Manhattan South takes the credit after Wentworth subdues a would-be assassin.

A battle of the sexes erupts when Manhattan South takes the credit after Wentworth subdues a would-be assassin.

A man turns in an envelope with $3500; Wojo must face his fear of flying by escorting a bigamist prisoner on a flight to Cleveland.

Wojo is shot at by a sniper; Luger stops by the 12th to check on the sniper case; A con man is selling $3,500 charter flights to Saturn.

A pregnant shoplifter goes into labor; Fish must stop a suicidal man from ringing in the new year by jumping.

The financially ailing city plans to save money by closing the precinct; store owners begin paying protection money.

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The squad must work through the precinct roof threatening to collapse from the rain and a nightclub comic's Bicentennial jokes.

Wojo is shot at by a sniper; Luger stops by the 12th to check on the sniper case; A con man is selling $3,500 charter flights to Saturn.

A pregnant shoplifter goes into labor; Fish must stop a suicidal man from ringing in the new year by jumping.

Wojo is alarmed to learn that New York City doesn't have an up-to-date emergency evacuation procedure.

A woman, being held from voting by her husband, throws a toilet seat into the street to get attention; a shoplifter gets escorted to vote by Wojo.

Fish is attracted to a mugger's mother. A man who turned in $3,500 he found a few weeks ago and wants to claim.

The Mole leads Harris and Wojo on a chase through the city sewer system. Fish considers an operation.

The detectives must arrest a 70-year-old recluse who hasn't left his apartment since World War II, after he refuses to do jury duty.

The usual loonies arrive during the full moon, including a man who swears he's turning into a werewolf.

At the Twelfth when the detectives sample Wojo's girlfriend's brownies before anyone realizes that her recipe included an ample portion of hashish.

Wojo arrests a man for refusing to interfere when he witnessed a mugging in progress; Barney doesn't think a crime has been committed.

The city experiences a first-stage smog alert. A potential suicide victim is saved by a graffiti artist.

Wojo grants political asylum to a defecting Russian musician; Marty is charged with a parole violation for possessing a half-ounce of marijuana.

The squad tracks a mad bomber who's threatened to blow up an Army recruiting office; and Fish has to dress as a woman when it's his turn for mugging detail.

Barney and the detectives discover that someone has planted electronic bugs throughout the squad room.

After a suspect steals his best friend's corpse and refuses to tell anyone where he's hidden it, Fish returns to help Barney find the body.

A vigilante environmentalist who's been sabotaging a chemical plant faces the corporation's high-powered lawyer.

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A man turns in an envelope with $3500; Wojo must face his fear of flying by escorting a bigamist prisoner on a flight to Cleveland.

While off duty, two female detectives go undercover to solve a campus drug case; A man is convinced that a photo of Jean Harlow is of his missing wife.

A glimpse at Ailing Fish's home life ensues when the detective is forced to go on restrictive duty; fish decides to quit the force.